Archive for category Just for fun

Who public radio underwriter actually are!

I <3 public radio.

I <3 public radio.

I love public radio.

But do you ever hear all those organizations, foundations and people who support public radio?

Don’t know any of them?

Yeah, me too.

So give me 30 seconds and I’ll tell you who they REALLY are!  Take a listen!

Oh Qdoba, you continue to woo me with your ways…

Just  a few moments ago, I sent out my “press release” on my burrito preference change out to my Twitter family.  I did not put the Qdoba twitter name in my post, but someone at their corporate office was sure searching for their name.  Within MINUTES, I received this tweet.  I’m even more loyal than ever!!  How great is this?!?

They love me!  They really love me!

They love me! They really love me!

BREAKING NEWS: Matt Haze changes burrito preference from Chipotle to Qdoba

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
MATT HAZE
MATTHAZE.COM

MATT HAZE CHANGES LONGTIME PREFERENCE IN BURRITO COMPANIES FROM CHIPOTLE TO QDOBA
Keep reading to learn how three pieces of chicken can teach you a lesson about YOUR business.

Matt Haze, the radio, television and internet personality known for sending useless tweets and posting pointless news stories on Facebook, made a monumental announcement today regarding a well-known eating preference of his.  After being a diehard Chipotle fan and supporter for years, Matt announced he has changed his preference for the best burrito around to competing company Qdoba.

God forbid you get extra chicken on accident!

God forbid you get extra chicken on accident!

“After seeing a Chipotle staffer remove extra chicken she accidentally put on my bowl this afternoon, I knew a switch had to me made,” said Mr. Haze, who has been known by the tens of people that read his content as a loyal fan of the burrito factory house.  Mr. Haze continued: “The fine staff at Qdoba has been making an effort in recent weeks to put EXTRA chicken on my order, not watching to make sure that the exact amount is on there.  This says so much about their love for their customers, and not their bottom line.”

After throwing a hissy fit in line over the fact that his burrito construction specialist actually removed three small pieces of chicken after putting it into his bowl, Mr. Haze also remembered the amount of choices at Qdoba were also a sign of their true commitment to customer service.  ”Having the option to add Queso to a burrito or bowl to make my fat stomach satisfied is also a major factor in my decision today.  Once you’ve had Queso on your burrito, it’s tough to walk away from such a satisfying and fatty option.”

one word: Queso. on a burrito. ok that's 4 words.

one word: Queso. on a burrito. ok that's 4 words.

Mr. Haze hopes his decision to go public with this decision can help all companies, not just burrito making machines, to see the little things in the process of building customer loyalty can help make or break a relationship.  ”I’m not here to bash Chipotle like a nasty ex-girlfriend who believes you broke her heart because she called you 5 times in 24 hours after she couldn’t get a clue.  I’m here to hopefully educate not just these great food operators, but all businesses, that the little things we see and notice in the experience of working with you and your service can make or break a deal.  Sure, the ultimate goal and result matters and that’s what you’re hired for.  But the little hiccups along the way can make or break the potential for a happy customer, referrals and recommendations to others.”

Mr. Haze plans to frequent both restaurants, but knows where his loyalty now lays.  ”Three little pieces of chicken killed it for me.  Will YOUR client say the same about you and YOUR services about one or two little things?  Take a look and keep that in mind.  It may keep them from going online or, even worse, their friends and family and ruin the potential for referral business.  Or prevent them from making really stupid and pointless press releases about you on their blog.”

Is it A or B when it comes to my H2O??

mmmmmm waaaatteeerrrrrr....

So I either a) have been watching way too much Glenn Beck lately and decided to stockpile for the apocalypse when government leaders invade their own people with more socialistic ideals… or b) It was 3 for $10 at the store.


The ice cream truck is making me go insane…

It’s so nice to hear the ice cream truck back out and about!  Summer is here!  But if I have to put up with this all summer long… well… just watch…

YourDailyHaze EXTRA: Week in review for April 10th

Every Saturday, I open my mouth and talk about the week’s biggest stories on The Karin Housley Show on AM 1220 KLBB in Minneapolis.

This week… we talked about Oprah’s new talk show on cable, Tiger Woods and his Nike commercials, and continued our debate on iPhone v. BlackBerry.

Here’s the audio for your so-bored-you’re-stuck-with-this listening enjoyment.

Onward people… Onward!

YourDailyHaze EXTRA: Week in review for March 27th

Every week, I have the pleasure of talking about the week’s biggest stories with Karin Housley and Julie Johnson on The Karin Housley show…Saturday mornings on AM 1220 in KLBB in Minneapolis. As an extra bonus podcast, I will share with you the fun we have every Saturday discussing the biggest stories and figuring out why we even care about them.

This week… I talk about the battle of Healthcare not on Capitol Hill, but on Twitter and Facebook.  Also, America’s last true role models have been cancelled off of our TVs… Heidi and Spencer and the rest of the gang of The Hills.  Also, what is Jesse James thinking?!  That and more on this week’s bonus below.

An open letter to the ladies of The Bachelor…

Dear Ladies…

I know your hearts are broken.  You think you lost the true love of your life and you’ll never find that feeling again.  He was successful… charming… good looking… and knew how to wine and dine you on national TV with ABC’s money.

But let me ask you a question…

Like you have to question this choice?!

Why would you want that heart breaking douchebag on the left when you can have that stunningly good looking man on the right?!?

SO…

Friday.  8:30.  Applebee’s.  I’ll be in the booth in the corner waiting for you with a rose.

Hope you don’t mind that we get the 2 for $20 special.

See you then.

Love,
Your Prince Charming

Mathematical Probability a Woman would Talk to and/or Date Matt Haze

Thousands of dollars have been spent on research to discover the secret to my love life…

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MTV: No longer Music Television. In Snooki we trust!

This depresses me and makes me want to drink

Never saw this coming.  Really.  Total shocker.

MTV has removed the “Music Television” line from its logo and marketing.

I believe my friends over at RAMP (Radio and Music Pros) said it best and exactly how I feel about Viacom’s decision in their daily email this morning…

“After several years, the concept of truth in advertising has finally taken hold at MTV, where the term “Music Television” has now disappeared from the channel’s logo — and it’s about time, since the channel that brought you such high-quality, award-winning, IQ-enhancing programming as The Hills, 16 and Pregnant, Real World-Road Rules Challenge: The Ruins and its latest Guido-tastic breakout hit, Jersey Shore, hasn’t really been known for running actual music videos for a few years now. The new logo sports the familiar MTV design, but now features pictures of the channel’s latest batch of “talent” — like Snooki.

MTV threw its audience a frickin’ bone last spring when it introduced AMtv, a block of videos running from 3-9am, but not even MTV2 — which took on the mantle of airing music videos when MTV dove headfirst into the shallow end of the reality TV kiddie pool — is really doing anything musically outside of that block. “The people who watch it today, they don’t refer to MTV as music television,” MTV Head of Marketing Tina Exarhos told the Los Angeles Times. “They don’t have the same emotional connection that, say, the people who are writing about [the logo change] do.” Translation: Those of us who grew up with MTV and remember it fondly for playing videos are now officially old, and we are cordially invited to suck it.”

In Snooki we trust the future of America!  *fist pump*

The Super Bowl through my eyes… one tweet at a time

It’s become a new tradition lately… me tweeting the silly (to some people entertaining, I still say silly) thoughts that come to mind as I’m watching a big spectacle such as the Super Bowl.  Anyone who was following me last night would have seen some bizarre, yet truthful, thoughts come out of my mouth.

So if you missed the “show,” here’s the tweets that I sent in the order I was watching…

Steve Winwood for pre-Superbowl entertainment? What was Billy Ocean not available?


90% of people who complain that the rich get richer will be watching the Superbowl, which gets many rich people richer. #getaclue


CBS has had many audio issues so far tonight… Carrie Underwood blowing the last few notes? Not one of them.


those magic CBS SPORTS jackets they wear RT @tonywgar: How come #cbs cant have audio issues when jam nantz & phil simms are yammering?


Pissed that the rich get richer? While you watched those Superbowl commercials, CBS just made $9 million dollars. #yousuckers


Did Bud Light’s ad execs drink when coming up with these ideas? Their commercials would only be funny after drinking REAL alcohol.


CBS has made $36 million so far in the last 60 minutes.#dontyouwishyouownedatvnetwork


Go Daddy called my manager wanting me to be a Go Daddy Girl this year. They then said no because I was “too hot” for the spots.#fact


The Who is also what anyone under the age of 25 watching the Superbowl halftime show will be saying. “The WHO??? Never heard of them!”


hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Dave, Oprah and Leno ad!!!!!


Why didn’t I try out for that Wear No Pants commercial??? #WouldntYouAllLikeToSeeThat #SorryForTheMentalPictue


I’m calling it now. The Leno/Letterman ad will be the 2nd most instant DVR rewind moment ever behind Janet. It was nearly as shocking.


Halfway thorugh that groundhog commerical, that loud noise you heard was all the members of PETA screaming “what the hell?!”


*jaw drops* RT @Oprah: Yes that was REAL D, J and me. Shot Tuesday nite in New York undercover at D’s studio.


wow! RT @alexweprin Yes, Leno, Letterman, Oprah spot filmed at Lettermans studio this week, according to a CBS press release. Jay WAS there.


Hey Jonas Brothers fans, yes this is what your boys will look like in 50 years. Don’t cry, little girl!


YES!!! RT @djgonzo1979: Next year, C+C Music Factory.


Oh I can watch the game in Spanish? I wouldn’t understand a damn word, but it would still be better than Jim Natz.


RT @MitchEnglish: Remember when Chevy was funny? You know, before the Gov’t bailout


Are we sure the federal government funded the US Census ad and not the Green Police ad? I smell controversy…


RT @gavinpurcell: NYT’s Bill Carter gets the story on the Jay/Dave Superbowl Ad http://bit.ly/aIzSLg


WOOO!! SAINTS WINS!! *flashes everyone around* nah, you can keep your beads…


Crazy?  Yes.  Yes, I know.

Bizarre ways to start a phone conversation…

My BlackBerry goes off at 11:30 last night…

Me: “Hey there…”
Her: “Hey, I’m lost.”
Me: “Where you at?”
Her: “Westchester County.”
Me: “Well, I don’t know the north ‘burbs well, I’ll pull up a map…”
Her: “No need. I need a cigarette, too.”
Me: “I only smoke cigars. What is my role in this conversation?”
Her: “You’re company.”
Me: “Thank you for the clarification.”

Facebook Profile Picture of the Celebrity You Look Like Week

I can’t believe I’ve given into the hype…

I decided to join the “change your Facebook profile picture to the celebrity everyone thinks you look like” week.

What do you think???  Pretty accurate, right??  The hair gives it away…

Become my Facebook friend, will you?? http://www.facebook.com/matthaze

EXCLUSIVE: Get a sneak peak at the new Apple iPad!!

My buddy Mo’ Bounce was lucky enough to get a preview of the new Apple iPad and be one of the first to try out Apple’s new toy! So very cool to see it in action. Check out the video… from unboxing to putting it to use!

Life lessons I learned on the L train…

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of...

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of...

Who needs books.  Who needs the internet.

You can learn everything you need to know in life on a subway ride.

I rarely take the subway in the morning during rush hour, unless I have to.  Today was one of those mornings when I had to.

You would think that a 25 minute packed-in-like-sardines L train ride from Brooklyn into Manhattan would be the most unpleasant experience a human could encounter to start a Monday, especially when they haven’t had their first cup of coffee yet.

I beg to differ.

For it was during that 25 minutes of feeling like a number that I was able to educate myself on the lessons of life.

A packed subway ride is like grabbing the Sunday paper and just browsing through all the different subjects fit to print… admiring the vast array of knowledge that life has to offer you.

Don’t believe me?  Well fine skeptic, let me make you a believer!

Look at this list of human knowledge I gained this morning on a 25 minute ride on a Manhattan-bound L train…

MUSIC: According to a gentleman by the name of Jerome, who was traveling with a friend of his who was kind enough to share his iPod, if Lil Wayne released 3 new albums at one time, he’d be “all over that shit, and so would everyone else.”  Hell, Jerome would even tweet about it, and he doesn’t “do that twitter thang.”  His partner in crime disagreed with a very valid and thought provoking point: “brotha please, who buys albums???  I’d YouTube that shit!”

SELF-HELP: Hate your life?  Your life will suck just a little less when you have your iPod turned up as loud as you can and you just sit staring outside the window looking at nothing.  But you’re in your little bubble.  And for that short time, life in that little bubble sucks a little less.

LIFE: It’s the little things in life you enjoy most.  Like winning the luck card early in the morning when you get a standing spot right underneath the air conditioning duct.  It’s not necessary to pray that chilled air arrives to you by the time it reaches your part of the car.

LOVE: I love natural brunettes with light blue eyes.  Ohmigod.

BOOKS & NEWS: Reading a Chinese newspaper over someone’s shoulder is 100x more interesting than having your head buried in a New York Times. Why?  Two words: the pictures.

FASHION: 2003 called, it wants my old beat up laptop bag back.  But if you look past the laptop bag, damn gurl, I got STYLE!

ORGANIZATION: Always be prepared.  Never have to refill your Metro card during morning rush hour.  You’ll always have to wait in line behind some woman who has never used a Metro card kiosk in her life and decided to refill her card by $20 with those fancy one dollar coins.

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS: Yes Mr. Deep Subway Voice Guy, I’m well aware that improper touching on the subway is a crime and I should report it immediately.  But honestly, if someone cops a feel, I won’t mind.  Actually, I allow it as a public service to the City of New York.

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS PART B: There is (allegedly) an extended mix of Beyone’s “Sweet Dreams” with a rap mixed in with the song.  Our new friend Jerome was listening to it with his bud and rapping along with these new lyrics that I’ve never heard before.  But it’s not the fact that there’s a different mix that I really learned.  It was what they were talking about IN the rap.  I had no clue you could do that in the bedroom!  Mental note.

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS PART C: And finally… I learned that Brandy has a real ass of a husband.  I guess last night he was out once again with “that dirty ho” and and she’s getting really sick of putting up with it.  I’m sorry Brandy, but YOU are the dirty ho for sticking around.

Next time you’re on the subway, put the book away.  Close up the newspaper.  Take the ear buds out.  Just watch.  Just listen.  You just may learn something.

HazeTV 008: Take a peek inside of Joe Rosati’s final 2 weeks on Z100 NYC

So my good friend Joe Rosati is leaving the world’s biggest pop/top 40 music station, New York’s Hit Music Station, The World Famous Z100 to head to Detroit.  He’s trading in talking up Lady GaGa and Jay-Z to talk up Abba and KC & the Sunshine Band.  Take a peek inside Joe’s final 2 weeks and get a quick look inside the most listened to radio station in the world.

HazeTV 007: This white boy DJs an urban music club

Ever want to see me rap or talk up 50 cent?  Find out first hand why I don’t do top 40 radio anymore and stick to business media.  Oh, and I go off a bit on Soulija Boy’s lack of creativity. All to entertain you today.

I bug The Karin Housley Radio Show in Minneapolis

This Yankees fan had to give grief to my friend Karin Housley (a Twins fan) on her radio show in Minneapolis…along with talking about the big award I won yesterday as well.  I also had to make sure her assistant, Julie, was getting the attention she deserved!  Hear the audio of the fun:

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Pre-emptive strike against the moon?!

What did he ever do to us to deserve this?!

What did he ever do to us to deserve this?!

It’s the second biggest news story of the day so far (next to President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize).

NASA bombed the moon.

That’s right, the rocket scientists at NASA spent millions of our tax dollars to bomb the moon.

For water.

That’s right, that item we have plenty of on our own earth.

I am going to stand up for this one.

Not cool.

What has the martians ever done to us to deserve this?!

They bring us comedy in cartoons.

They are part of a prestigious MTV award show that Kanye West hasn’t interrupted…yet.

They’re friends with one of our all-time favorite TV stars…Alf!

And we bomb them?!

WWETD?  (What Would E.T. Do?)

So not nice.

So not cool.

*sigh*

HazeTV 008: Diehard karaoke intervention

Dear Diehard Karaoke Singers who sing every week and think you’re the best in town:  Sit down, press play, and let’s chat…